doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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