someone get that fucking seahorse.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize