Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
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He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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