and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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