Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
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I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize