Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
whose parrot is this?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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