in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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