obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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