We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize