i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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