Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
we're so committed to being not committed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize