Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize