im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize