I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
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So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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