I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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