If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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