Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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