i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize