That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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