Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
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im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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