I will die if light touches me.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize