Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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