Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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