I could make wine with my vomit
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize