Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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