I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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