somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
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He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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