her vagine was all disorganized.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sorry about my life...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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