Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You smell like stripper and shame
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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