hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize