That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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