i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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