I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize