I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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