If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize