I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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