Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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