I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize