At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize