i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize