Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
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I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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