Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize