Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize