I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize