i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize