Texts From Last Night

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.

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  (231): i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future. http://tfl.nu/hfoa
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (1216) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse

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  (702): And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse http://tfl.nu/oibh
  Replies (11) Good night (1240) Bad night (3178) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.

  (903): View more from Texas

  wow. i have no words.

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  (979): i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door. (903): wow. i have no words. http://tfl.nu/bjsv
  Replies (29) Good night (5660) Bad night (888)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

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  (434): NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup. http://tfl.nu/qouj
  Replies (20) Good night (6583) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.

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  (479): I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting. http://tfl.nu/hwr8
  Replies (14) Good night (4792) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.

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  (301): i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk. http://tfl.nu/vlxs
  Replies (11) Good night (3824) Bad night (1486) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper

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  (559): I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper http://tfl.nu/pzfa
  Replies (21) Good night (4538) Bad night (1284)
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  (315): View more from New York

  mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"

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  (315): mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!" http://tfl.nu/d3gl
  Replies (22) Good night (5010) Bad night (1508) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.

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  (410): It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand. http://tfl.nu/z8dm
  Replies (6) Good night (1904) Bad night (780)
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  (516): View more from New York

  perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection

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  (516): perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection http://tfl.nu/w4cf
  Replies (8) Good night (497) Bad night (1660) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did

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  (610): You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did http://tfl.nu/pssp
  Replies (3) Good night (1239) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.

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  (925): It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day. http://tfl.nu/ynaj
  Replies (5) Good night (1102) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.

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  (334): I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line. http://tfl.nu/l1fz
  Replies (4) Good night (382) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork

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  (917): When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork http://tfl.nu/bkbb
  Replies (12) Good night (597) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...

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  (440): The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine... http://tfl.nu/over
  Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (165) Order T-Shirt

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