Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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