You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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