herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
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Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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