Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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